Preparation

As I near the start of my first big journey as an adult, I find myself allotting more time for me.  I am allowing time in the morning to practice at least 15 minutes of yoga to help my back feel better.  I am noticing my aches and where I need to stretch and regain motion after the accidents of last year, and I think that with this practice, I can slowly recuperate of my pre-car accident flexibility a little more each day.

I am taking vitamins to boost my immune system, which I have been neglecting.

I am making lists and checking off tasks as I achieve each one.  I am more methodical about managing my time, and this directly affects how successful I feel at the end of the day.

I unconsciously started giving myself time to sit in bed, relax and read, or catch up on email (and relieve stress or the worry of needing to respond at a later date) at the end of each day.  And what I am noticing is a lack of constant noise and chatter in my head, a sense of ease, and, above all, feeling happy.

Reflecting on these things brings a smile to my face, and causes me to laugh.  At myself.

In preparation to leave my normal daily life of work and constancy, I have started prioritizing and living in a more meaningful way for myself. 

My question is this: why do I need to take a big trip – a vacation – in order to finally make myself a priority in my own life?  For me, this trip to Ireland is the greatest gift I have ever given myself, and perhaps leaving the country (and other various recent events which definitely contribute to this re-evaluation) is the jump-start I needed to put me first and live as I want to live – pursuing and supporting people and places and activities I hold important.

Wow.  Finally!  I can claim what I want for me.

And it only took 30 years to get here.
One starts to wonder what the next 30 years will bring to light…

Evening Quiet

As I ready myself for sleep tonight, I have decided to leave my curtains open.

Yes, I live in the city, and my neighbors may, possibly, see me sleeping.

But I like the light of the city to brighten the room.  I delight in daylight brightening my walls to a golden glow and waking me more naturally than any alarm ever will.  Therefore, I choose light over convention.  Call me a rebel, but from this day forth, I choose to do what pleases me, and do the things to which I commit my words and time.  Because these choices and acts are what make life worth living.

So do as you please:
Go for a run.  See that movie before it is out of the theatre.  Go to the beach for the day. Plan the trip and take it because you never know when you may not be able to run or go to a movie, walk in the sand or get on a plane.

I have learned that doing what you enjoy is important.  It is the reason we are here and how we learn about ourselves.  It is how we define our purpose, making us happy beings.

So, tonight, open your curtains and stare at the stars before you drift off.  Even the small pleasures which bring us joy stand to be counted and applied; they are a part of what makes it worthwhile to be here, living the human experience.

A Dream of White

Last night, sleep was broken by sudden awakenings – the kind a child experiences on the eve of a big event or holiday. My subconscious, hyper-aware of every sound that penetrated my single-pane windows, acted as an alarm system, jolting me to the sound of… Rain. So hopeful for the white fluff of winter, I would go to the window to check for any accumulation… Only to find none.

Nearly half way to work, it began to snow. And by the time I was almost there, the world was blanketed in white! Joy filled my inner child;I snapped as many photos as my frozen fingers would allow. Delayed gratification, and a happy – if chilly – start to this Tuesday morning.

Knowledge

They say it is power.

I say it provides a base for insight.

In my life, I have spent irretrievable moments declaring my inability to retain information.  Yes, I have a hard time remembering specific factoids, historic information, and, I am ashamed to say, even events in my own life.  But why do I feel shame at another person’s judgement of my memory?  It’s not their loss of personal history, it’s mine, and in all honesty, it has never really bothered me that I forget because I am always able to remember the feeling.  I have emotional connections to recollections.  Although there is no movie playing in my mind, a series of sensations and warmth of feelings wash over me when events are recalled to mind.  Perhaps more valuable than those pictures and words and scenes locked in memory are the impressions we are left when time passes and events conclude.

Breathe

A long silence.

Audiences waiting, breath bated…

What will her next reprise hold?

A dashing line, spoken bold,

A gentle word, spun with gold…?

Her breath is caught, she starts to sing

…and all that wait can hear the ring

the treasure found so deep inside

that finally, she no longer hides.

The song concludes with a final note

that rings through the air, and take note,

for the girl who finally let open her mouth

has learned to let the sound come out

with joy and pleasure she now sings for you,

in hopes this song will move you, too.

Sing out! Good friends, in all you do.

In the car, in your home, and on the street, too.

You never know how the joy can spread

or when a spirited journey may be led.

For those who by example show

the world around them how to grow

through smiles and laughs and gleeful notes

- they teach us to live our lives afloat -

We leap! and dance upon a whim,

and spend less time feeling grim

because when one is able to express

the feelings they have held repressed

the heart grows light,

the mind more calm,

and one realizes all along,

that all that was needed

was to simply…

Breathe.

And sing a song.

(Be gleeful, and share your joy!)

Spring

As days warm and we head toward Spring

there is no knowing what life will bring.

A joyous dance, or a sunlit flower

but greatness found in every hour.

 

Life brings us troubles, it gets us down,

and at times, we’re left with a frown.

My wish for you, may it come true,

Is bright skies of deep, deep blue.

Never enough…

…minutes to sip on your morning coffee before work.

…time in the day to accomplish everything you thought you wanted to do.

…hours in the day to get to know a new friend.

…days in the week to work, eat, sleep, and play.

Plenty enough…

…laughs in a lifetime to share with all you know.

…smiles to cheer the frowns away.

…hugs to clear the blues away.

…kisses to make the boo-boos all better.

…love to bring comfort and joy.

Laugh a little louder today.  Bring some happy to the world.

Dancin’ in the streets

Last summer, while enjoying the delightful warmth and sunshine gracing the greater Portland area, I stumbled upon two people dancing.  Mesmerized by this attractive young couple, I had to pause in my day to enjoy their performance during that last hot weekend at the Saturday Market.  The mere fact that there were two people dancing on the streets in Portland would generally be enough persuasion for me to stop and appreciate the couple enjoying life and each other; these two took it to another level, generally one kept to circus tents.  Their legs went on for days, for they were on stilts.  I can’t imagine that walking on two pegs rather than a whole foot (heel, arch, ball, and toes) is easily achieved, but they made it look natural.  They moved effortlessly and with such grace that I think I stood gawking for near half an hour.

I hope that one day, I can be as much of an awe-inspiring example for some other person.  A few iPhone snap-shots of the dance:

Their fun-having was so infectious, members of the crowd delighted in their involvement, showing as much enthusiasm as was demonstrated.

I look forward to these sun-filled summer days when revelers can once again delight in dancing outdoors.

Change & Preparation

There is something so undeniably satisfying about rearranging one’s home.  Today, I created a workroom for myself, inspired by this question “are you setting yourself up for success?”  I have been haunted by my quick, unedited answer, “no!”  My home is disorganized, components of projects were scattered, room to room; I was not at all prepared to sit down, easily pull the pieces together, and complete a project I had started a summer ago.

Today, that has all changed.  sewing materials are situated near the table where the sewing machine sits.  The computer is in the same room, for ease of photo download and editing; books, resources, and tools that help achieve success in the process are also near the craft table.  I am set.  I can begin!

A hill on the horizon

There are times on this life-long journey when circumstances will challenge and push us to the next level.  We walk willingly, happily, even ravenously into these trying days, perhaps knowing we asked for these changes to come about, lying in expectation and wait for days, weeks, months, or long years.  Often, we are brought to a new understanding of our lives by the experiences to be had during this phase.  We come off the plateau, and are able to climb the next hill.

There are times when we are living on the plateau and asking for change.  But we do not hear the universe answering.  We are stating requests for changes we wish to see in our lives, but we get to the end of our plateau, and we see no rise.  There is no hill or mountain to take us to the next level.  We must initiate our own climb; we must somehow create an opening in the world for change to flow into our lives.

I am ready to leave the plateau.

See you on the next rise.